A few weeks ago, I went on a teaching vacation with my adult daughter. This was my second one this year, so I had a lot less anxiety about juggling my resort responsibilities and getting in some much-needed rest and relaxation. I learned a few things about myself through the eyes of my daughter. Here are a few things:
- I need to remind myself that I deserve a break and not feel guilty or feel like I’m “wasting time”.
- I realized my daughter is growing up and is different from what I remember. This is a good reminder that we constantly grow and evolve and that we shouldn’t be making assumptions about one another.
- I need to learn how to relax and be OK with doing nothing. Doing “nothing” is doing something – I’m recharging or filling up my cup.
Slowing down and truly relaxing has always been a challenge for me. I feel like I always need to be doing something productive or something to check off ‘my list”. A lot of this relates to my personality color, red. Red energy is associated with assertiveness, action, decisiveness, and leadership. It’s important to know when this energy is appropriate and when you need to tone it down.
I’ve been practicing the art of toning down my red energy:
- Pausing and taking a few deep breaths before I respond
Asking myself: “Is this the best way to say this?” or “Is it necessary to respond right now?
- Practice Active Listening
Summarizing what the other person said before replying (“So what I’m hearing you say is…”). This helps me to slow down and build trust. It also helps the other person clarify further if I misunderstood.
- Mindful of my tone and body language
Red energy can unintentionally come across as intimidating; so, I try to smile more and lower my voice slightly.
- Embrace Collaboration over Control
Instead of saying “Here’s what we’re going to do,” I now let others take the lead by replying “Let’s figure this out together.”
- Be Mindful of Timing
Not everything needs to be addressed immediately or directly. Now, I choose to slow down and assert my ideas later.
Being intentional about toning down my red has led to more peace in my life and less stress. I’m becoming calmer and have more mental and physical energy to tackle my top priorities. If you scored high in the red category, I’d love to hear your strategies on how you manage it at work or in your personal life.
To your health!
Maria Karalis RDN, LDN
mariamkaralis@gmail.com