What is self-care? It is the act of doing something that rejuvenates YOU and is different for each of us. For me it is waking up before anyone else to pray, read scriptures, self-reflect and be alone with my thoughts and hear God’s whispers. It is waking up early to bake/fulfill a Phanouropita (cake) order. It is my time to revisit my priorities, make tweaks to my plans and design my future.
Many women I see in my private practice tend to de-prioritize self-care and exercise due to work and/or family commitments. We wear multiple hats: partner, mother, daughter, caretaker, employee or employer; the list is endless. We strive to be perfect and juggle all these responsibilities alone. This is not what God had intended. It’s OKAY to ask for help. It’s OKAY to ask your partner to share household chores or oversee dinner a few nights a week. It’s OKAY to say no and tell your family, this is my “workout time”. When I discover that my female clients are hanging on by a thread, I immediately shift gears and focus on how they are going to make self-investment or self-love a #1 priority. We, literally, talk through specifics and logistics – what does it look like? Feel like? And most importantly when will this happen? Then I ask them to put it in their calendar and treat it like a work meeting or an important doctor’s appointment.
Because you can’t pour from an empty cup. Women do it all the time, but it is not sustainable and leads to anger, resentment, burnout, feelings of overwhelm and can ignite disordered eating or other addictions.
A few weekends ago, I had committed to going to “Game Night” at my church on Saturday night. I had a long week filled with difficult conversations/ challenges and when Saturday rolled around, I wasn’t feeling up to going and socializing. I thought I needed “girlfriend time” so I called my best friend and told her I was coming over. After a few hours, I realized that wasn’t what I needed either. At that moment, I knew exactly what I was craving – alone time. To completely disconnect from everyone and everything just for a little bit. So, I checked myself into a nearby hotel and spent 12 hours on my own. No one knew where I was and that, in and of itself, was a liberating feeling. I watched a comedy in bed while eating straight out of a popcorn bag (what a rebel! LOL). I woke up the next morning and went to the gym then treated myself to a hot breakfast. It was exactly what the RDN ordered! Listen to what YOU need and not what others or our society is telling you what you need.
Be kind to yourself and true to who you are.
All the best,
Maria Karalis RDN